I Love Me Some Me - Challenge

Happy New Year. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Easter, Happy Mother's Day.

I hope you missed me. I'm making up for lost time, is it working? Nah? OK (hangs head in shame).

I am working on some things that should launch by the end of the summer so I've been a very busy girl. Balancing family, a toddler (he is a combination of at least three people in my book), work and all that is life and my goals and dreams had a girl juggling and figuring it out.

But when I saw how Beyonce' came out with a whole body of work that was Lemonade and as someone said we all have the same twenty four hours, ya girl has to assess her priorities!

I know you love you some you and I also believe you have really been loving on YOU.. So share with me... what have you done for you lately?

Personally, when I feel good it shows and everyone in my space benefits from experiencing me at my best. 

Momming (my verb) often consumes me almost completely as balance is not my strong point. I tend to either be way left or way right. So deliberate actions to love on me have become a mandate  and sometimes it can be something as simple as doing a Betonite clay mask on either my hair or face or both on a good day :). I have been slowly incorporating more natural products into my regimens with the hope of one day using more natural products than not.

I did a mask yesterday and my face felt so good, it is now soft and smooth! I can't wait to lavish my hair on the weekend.

To make the mask for my face I use half to one teaspoon of Betonite clay along with either the corresponding amount of water or Apple Cider Vinegar or more, depending on the consistency I prefer. I like it as smooth as possible. The hair mask is essentially the same while considering the length of your hair and the amount of product that will be required to fully coat your strands.

I have also tried it with my toothpaste which was okay for me but it hasn't become a regular part of my routine.

A few titbits about Betonite clay:

• Avoid inhaling the dry powder before adding water or Apple Cider Vinegar
• It can be a little messy but I promise it can also be worth it.
• It softens the hair and skin
• It is said to be able to remove toxins from the body
• It is said to control eczema and unclog your pores
• It can be used to exfoliate the skin
• Avoid using a metal spoon as it is said to be most effective if it doesn’t come in contact with metal before use. Mix with plastic, wood or glass

Try the Betonite clay mask today and give me some feed back. I really hope it's as good to you as it has been to me! I purchased mine at Earth Elements in Kingston. 

The Blame Game

"You made me do it!".....  "It's your fault!"..... 

Sounds familiar? At some point I may or may not have echoed those words in response to some less than favourable situation I found myself in. If it was a commendable act? You guessed it "that? That was all me!" We are pretty interesting creatures. It takes an Omnipotent, Omniscient kinda Creator to deal with all we can be (IMO-in my opinion for my less slang inclined friends). So we tend to blame when it's convenient and hoard praises and recognition when we see it fit.

What is blame though? www.dictionary.com defines blame as placing the responsibility for a fault or error. It is somehow the default setting for us to cast blame to relieve ourselves of the negative emotions or rather emotional discomfort we experience when things go awry. It isn't unfamiliar territory for most of us, as human beings we seek to minimise any form of discomfort and maximise on comfort. So blame can be pretty darn therapeutic when it boils down to it. 

What interested me most about blame is that it needs a villain and a victim, which is definitely an unproductive scenario. The villain is the one being blamed for the problem or difficulty being experienced and the victim is the woe is me recipient doing the blaming. Blame removes accountability and doesn't add real value to our relationships.  

What can be even more lethal is self blame, rather than operating from a place of self empowerment or faith. We sometimes harm ourselves by inflicting intense blame inwardly and embarking on a negative spiral. Now I know there is a fine line between giving yourself permission to continuously act in ways harmful to ourselves and others and condemning ourselves. It takes tremendous effort but I would like to think it's worth it.

My friend in my head Brene Brown recommends the following practical tips to help with blame:

• See it in yourself – Spend a day being on the lookout for moments of blame. This may be blaming yourself or another and see if you can recognize how it was a moment of expelling pain, discomfort or some negative energy. How does it make you feel after? Was it relieving, does more negative energy creep in?
• See it in others – Spend the next day noticing when other people use blame. Do you notice some pain or discomfort that preceded their moment of blaming?
• See the freedom unfold – See what happens as you start to get curious about the experience of blame.

As you may be able to tell I'm a believer! I was sold on the idea that I don't have to "do life" on my own. That I have someone who cares, that I can learn to fully trust in and rely on in both my best and worst efforts to somehow make sense of and navigate this journey called "my life". So when things like this rise up in my consciousness and I see where I have been erring, I learn to be loving with myself and seek the help of the Lord to navigate the path. This one is mighty tricky due to the vast number of issues that tend to be underlying in blame issues and its roots. But I live to fight another day! 

I think you will enjoy the short video below on blame that my "friend" Brene did, I hope it gives you a bit of perspective as well. 

Cheers to living, loving and growing.

Godspeed.

Perspective

#perspective A small piece to the puzzle of this great big world of billions, however this renders me no less significant.  Fearfully and wonderfully made. I am grateful to exist for a purpose greater than my understanding and you should be too. #purpose #faithfulGod. 👆🙌

Curtain call...

Are you living your life or is your life living you?

I had to honestly ask myself this question the other day. As I seek a higher existence and experience than this world has to offer. I sometimes feel like I play a role (an unenjoyable one to some extent). I live virtually the same day and week routinely sometimes. Wake up at the same time, bustle in traffic to the office, clock in, then clock out. Being told what to do at every turn and sometimes criticized if it isn't done to the required standards. Told how to look, what to wear, how and when to wear it (whew). As a millennial I loathe this kind of rigid structure and I feel for our children. But as one of my fave lyricists said "I was given this world I didn't make it". Yes you read correctly,  I quoted the late great Tupac Shakur (don't be surprised).

Put on a smile, greet the world. Say the right things. When asked how you are say "fine", as the question is merely a social pleasantry.  Many are breaking under the pressure.  No one wants to admit it though, no one wants to be perceived as "weak". There is so much pressure to keep up, do more, be more.  Achieve, achieve, achieve and then what?

We were made for relationships, to share each other's happy times and burdens. But instead we compete and try to save face. I have a hard time believing that this was God's design when He gave us each other. Yes. Surprised? He gave us each other. To love one another, to fellowship and enjoy this gift of life and more importantly reflect His glory. Yet in such a crowded world people feel alone in their struggles, isolated and overwhelmed. Lies the devil feeds to us humans all the time.

I thrive when connected, I mean really connected, not just social media connected either. Going for walks, good conversation, over all bonding on a deeper level, not that pseudo stuff. I genuinely despise those conversations so I sometimes come across as antisocial. I simply have not mastered the art of conducting them successfully.

Suicide is so rampant, it is beyond alarming actually. I remember when I heard that Robin Williams committed suicide.  I just couldn't understand. It really shook me up. He was the guy that made everyone laugh. He seemed to have life figured out. I remember feeling suicidal as a teen because there was this awful rumour circulated about me by some horrible people who clearly didn't know better at the time. And I can't say what specifically got me through that time but I'll say God has always been real to me. In some of my darkest times and most lonely moment I still felt like I wasn't truly alone. There are a lot of people winning battles we know nothing of and sadly some are losing too. Let's pray for each other and support where we can. You never know how God may be using you in the life of another.

All this to say.. be genuine. Stop feeding into these unrealistic expectations designed by those in society who seek to benefit in one way or another especially financially. Be grateful for the new mercies of God each day. Do not lean on your own understanding. None of us have all the answers. If you don't already have one, develop a closer relationship with the Lord. In a cynical world where we think all we see is all there is and we know everything, I find Him to be my present help and hope. Really connect with someone at least each day. Ask someone how they are and mean it, demonstrate this by waiting for their response.

Cheers to living, loving and growing.

Godspeed.

A "Being" of Value...

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked. "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the 20 dollar note up. He then asked. "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or who we know, but by ...WHO WE ARE.

The Oxford dictionary defines value as  "The regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something." 

As a "human being" where does your value come from? Is it found in any material thing you possess or your relationships? Think about it... In some circles people are shamed into thinking if certain things happen to them, they lose their value. Or even worst when you get to a certain age. At the extreme where value is placed on "beings" based on their appearance, complexion or hair texture. Who came up with this stuff?

That said, Let me remind you of something today, in case you ever doubt... At your core, despite what happens to you or what others think, your value is immeasurable... Let me also say that if you have believed any or all of the lies about your worth and value, you are not alone.. I've been that girl. Many can attest to thinking as socialized to think rather than independently.

It took me a while to get this but you are valuable to Jesus as you are right now. Without all the changes you need to make and all the things he's working out in you, you are so valuable to Him. Divinely placed and divinely purposed. Picture this with me: You were formed in a nice warm, cozy womb. All your inner organs and body we're formed and protected. You successfully entered this world with a unique voice, DNA and the plethora of things that make you...You.. We sometimes lose our wonder of the miracles that we are and the sheer brilliance of the One who created us.

Today return to you, return to love,  return to Him. Thank Him and marvel at the creation that you are and the God that created you... And make a vow to never ever doubt your value.

Cheers to living,  loving and growing.

GODSPEED.